Immediately after I was born it turned out that my right leg was not moving.
The doctors decided to use electrophoresis, and as a result, they stimulated the tumour that was at that time in the spinal cord. The tumour instantly increased as a result, and so both of my legs stopped moving — the impulses from the brain simply stopped reaching my legs..
My parents were told they could go for chemo — but then, most likely, I would have died, so they decided to leave things as they are — the doctors said nothing could be done.
The legs have not developed since then due to lack of movement.
I don’t feel resentful or deprived at any point. I was born and raised like this – and so I love. At school I was in the class with ordinary children, so I never felt like a disabled person. I had never thought I was somehow different from my peers. My friends and family never focused on my disability, so I considered myself an ordinary person — even quite attractive. It would have been worse to lose the ability to walk due to the accident, for example. It could be mentally hard.
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But with age, new criteria for assessing appearance started to pop up. For example, sexuality. I began to compare myself with other people, realizing that my body is naturally different from theirs. At first, I didn’t worry too much, but my very first relationship made it clear that not all people were ready to put up with my peculiarities. I lost confidence in myself and started hating myself and my “unique” body. It took me a lot of strength to overcome depression and rejection of myself.
When I was 18, I was invited to play in the inclusive theatre run by russian stage director Larisa Abasheva. It became a real challenge to show yourself on stage in front of strangers — the first performances were torture. With each performance, I was becoming more and more confident in myself, I was no longer afraid to communicate with the audience, to look stupid or strange. I realized that beauty is made up not only of appearance, but also of charisma, demeanor, sense of humor. I have finally accepted myself unconditionally. I am beautiful and unique, just the way I am.
With this photo session, I decided to celebrate the completion of my self-acceptance. Despite my diagnosis, now more than ever I feel sexy and attractive. I hope that in the future I will never again let people undermine my love for myself and find a person who loves me for who I am.
My advice is: never lose your sense of your own uniqueness.
And, most importantly, love yourselves, your bodies, you are beautiful just the way you are.
HEROES
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SVETLANA BUSAREVA
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CATE POPOVA
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PAVEL LESNIKOV
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KATE SUVOROVA
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SVETA “FIREGIRL”
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DIANA PASTUHOVA
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ANNA BORTNIKOVA
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CATE KOMLEVA
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CATE SAZHINA
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ANASTASIA SELYAEVA
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DMITRY KOZEMASLOV
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MAX ZYABLICEV
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SONYA MOSINA
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ANNA SANNIKOVA
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